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बिरवा अंकुरित कहीं और होता है और रोपित कहीं और किया जाता है। जन्म के बाद जीवन का अमूल्य समय बचपन, किशोरावस्था से लेकर यौवन की दहलीज तक किसी और आंगन (नैहर-पीहर) में व्यतीत और विवाह के बाद शेष जीवन किसी और आंगन (ससुराल) में। कहने को तो स्त्री दो परिवारों (मायके और ससुराल) की धुरी, लेकिन वास्तव में स्व का कुछ भी नहीं। शादी के बाद ससुराल नितांत अजनबी परिवेश। ऐसा प्रतीत होता है मानो यकायक किसी अन्य ग्रह से ज़मीन पर पटक दिया गया हो।
अब वो पत्नी बना दी गई अपने पति की। अपनों को छोडक़र पति के साथ-साथ पति के परिवार (कहने को ख़ुद का भी) से अनेकानेक रिश्ते बन गए। क्या वास्तव में बनते हैं? इन रिश्तों को आत्मसात् किया जाता है? इन रिश्तों का भली-भांति निर्वहन किया जाता है? कदापि नहीं। स्त्री के लिए शाश्वत रिश्ता पीहर, पिया (पति), आभूषण और बाद में संतति (औलाद)। यह स्थापित सत्य है कि अपवादों को छोडक़र किसी भी महिला के लिए पीहर का कुत्ता भी भाई समान और पति का भाई कुत्ते समान।
इसमें कोई दोराय नहीं कि मुझे नारी विरोधी करार दे दिया जाएगा अथवा एक पक्षीय सोच की तोहमत लगा दी जाएगी। मैं नारीवादी हूं इसमें कोई संशय नहीं है, लेकिन कम से कम नारी के संदर्भ में उभय पक्षीय सोच की गुंजाइश ही नहीं होती। शादी के बाद न केवल नयी नवेली दुल्हन, बल्कि ससुराल पक्ष की अन्य महिलाएं भी ख़ुद को असहज महसूस करती हैं। पहले ही दिन से घर की महिलाओं में अघोषित शीत युद्ध का बीजारोपण हो जाता है। इसे वर्चस्व की लड़ाई भी कह सकते हैं। रफ़्ता-रफ़्ता यह शीत युद्ध भयंकर गृहयुद्ध में परिवर्तित हो जाता है।
घर कुरुक्षेत्र में तब्दील। इस पूरे मामले में न तो दहेज़ की कोई भूमिका होती है और न ही घर के किसी पुरुष सदस्य ही की। यह विशुद्ध रूप से घर की महिलाओं (सास, ननद, जेठानियों और नयी नवेली दुल्हन) के दरम्यान वर्चस्व की लड़ाई भर। यदि परिवार के सदस्य समय रहते समझदारी से काम लेते हुए बंटवारा कर देते हैं, तब तो इस वर्चस्व की लड़ाई का पटाक्षेप हो जाता है, लेकिन यह इतना आसान भी नहीं। घर का बंटवारा माता-पिता के लिए सर्वाधिक वेदना का क्षण होता है, जिसे वे सदैव टालना चाहते हैं।
माता-पिता धन-धान्य, ज़मीन-ज़ायदाद, नग़दी-ज़ेवरात का बंटवारा कर सकते हैं, घर का जीते जी स्वीकार्य नहीं। घर का बंटवारा उनके कलेजे को चीरने सदृश। दीवार माता-पिता के सपने से भी सुंदर, मंदिर समान घर के आंगन में नहीं, उनके हृदय को बिंध कर खड़ी की जाती है। इसके दूरगामी दुष्परिणाम होते हैं। केवल घर ही का बंटवारा नहीं होता, अपितु माता-पिता का विभाजन भी उसी समय हो जाता है।
पिता बड़े पुत्र-बहू के हवाले और माता छोटे के। मूलधन से सूद सदैव प्रिय। माता-पिता के लिए पहले पुत्र-पुत्रियां प्रिय, बाद में पोते-पोतियां, नातिन-नवासे। विडंबना यह कि बंटवारे के बाद न केवल वे विलग, बल्कि सूद से भी दूर।उनकी किलकारियां सुनकर मन बहलाव के अलावा दूसरा कोई विकल्प ही नहीं। महिला उत्पीडऩ एवं उन्नयन की बात करने, आंदोलन चलाने वाले महिलावादी संगठनों ने कभी इस पहलू की ओर ध्यान दिया है? स्टोव सदैव महिला को जलाने के लिए ही क्यों धधकता है? गैस सिलेंडर महिला की जान लेने के लिए ही क्यों फटता है? क्या उस समय चूल्हे -चौके में घर के पुरुष सदस्य मौजूद होते हैं?
त्रिया चरित्र जाने न कोय, पति को मार फिर सती होय, वेश्या ओढ़े रेशमी साड़ी और सती डोले उघाड़ी।
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